Dear J...

I emailed this to J, who very kindly blogged it on her LJ site, and just had to keep this for posterity's sake...

Just saw your ad online
And oh my god...
Never have I seen such lucious legs!
Even Angelina Jolie pales before you
Yes, for sure, those legs are made for lust and sin
Lustful thoughts pervade my mind, inspired by your legs, no doubt.
Oh, by the way, in case you didn't realize, I'm male.
Very virile male at that
Ever wondered what it would be like to try a real man?
Shhh... we won't tell you girlfriend!
Do you dream about a man taking you?
Even in your deepest dreams, you've never had anyone like me
Reply ASAP. I can't wait to have you!
Ever loving,
Kristopher

Hmm... I wonder what's the hidden message... :)

Cured!!!!

Midnight... Or maybe it's 1am... Whatever... I got hungry and I cooked a nice meal of fried hor fun with egg and meat and stuff. If I'm in a mood for food like that, I can't still be sick. Therefore, I'm cured!!!

Omen?

One day after I decide to increase my TKD training and go for a tournament, I get hit with a cough/fever. An omen? Or a reminder of my human frailty?

TKD x 3

I'm doing my TKD 3-4 times a week now. My muscles are sore. My feet are aching. I love it.

Why am I torturing myself? Because I want to go competitive. I want to spar in the ring again. In fact, I'm seriously considering a warmup tournament on Nov 19. Keep you guys updated later...

Got IM?

Welcome to the digital age. My parents dig the instant messaging scene. Do yours?    :)

Overnight Adventure at Borders

10.30pm. It's a slow moving Sunday night. Derek's been at his comics (again!) for the last hour or so and I'm really bored. I thought he was going to doodle a little, maybe even write some of those deep thoughts of his. But no, he just brought me along and left me alone and bored while he went to play with his comics. I think I'm going to take a nap. We should be going home soon once Borders closes at 11.

...

Hmmmm... I think I overslept. Where's Derek? The lights are off and I'm still at Borders. Everyone's gone. Shit. I'm scared of the dark. The books on the shelf are staring at me and giving me really unfriendly looks. HEY! I didn't want to stay the night ok? So just buzz off and quit hassling me...

... hours pass ...

OK, I'm so officially screwed. Derek's obviously not coming back. That lousy little ! Once I get my hands on him... Shit... I'm running low on power. Gonna power down and hope to survive till morning. Gotta... stay... a...wake........

... lights ...
... grainy images ...

What the...? I'm awake. I'm home. I can feel power coursing through me. That can only mean that somehow, Derek came back for me. Yep, a quick internal scan confirms that I'm plugged back into his home computer. Whew... nothing feels quite as good as being back home in my USB cradle. Nobody ever said that being Derek's PDA was a boring life!

PS: Derek wants to extend a heartfelt thank you to whoever turned me in to the Lost+Found department guys.

Pretty pretty

Mum graduated from Wilton's course II - Flowers and Borders. This is her masterpiece. My initial comments upon seeing the photo... "WOW! Holy shit! Can't believe she made that by hand!".

Mistakes

A friend of mine just fucked up big time. Big massive fuckup. He's beating himself up. He looks a wreck. He's scared. He's scared to lose the girl he loves. He doesn't know why he did what he did. He doesn't know what to do.

I told him that it's just a mistake, it's done, and there's nothing you can do to undo it. Best to see how you can salvage the situation, learn from your mistakes, move on with life, and don't make the same mistake twice.

I don't know why I'm blogging this. I just feel that somewhere down the road, this day is going to be significant to me in some way. I just feel that somehow, I need to remember this day, these conflicting emotions that he is feeling.

An awesome waste of time!

I don't usually do those web based games. I think most of them are usually a lame waste of time. This one is different. It grabs your mind, and hangs on to it for dear life. It's not only addictive, it's actually stimulating!

Play Sudoku today! Play it for the next 25 hours straight!

Invisible Readers!

Hey you guys who come in here, poke around, and leave... YES YOU! Will you please leave me something so that I know you were here? Something like... I dunno... A comment perhaps? It's not like I'm gonna charge your credit for every entry you read, you know. So please... if you read my crap, stick a comment on here once in a while! Let me know you exist!

Wildlife photography

Some absolutely stunning stuff here from the Wildlife Photographer of the Year competition:

Saturday Night at the Gas Station

It's around 2am. I'm at Emeryville getting gas after leaving the clubs. I notice this older lady (mid-late 40s?) drives up behind my car, but ignore her and go about my business.

A few minutes later, she walks up to me, and says in a timid voice, excuse me, but I think I lost my wallet and I need a gallon of gas to get back home. She was basically asking me to buy her a gallon of gas.

I remember thinking, I'm having a shitty time now cos my date flaked, so I might as well make sure this lady here doesn't have bad day. I give her a 10. She says she only needs a couple of gallons, and offers to get my address so she can return me the money. I smile and tell her not to worry about it, go home, enjoy the rest of your weekend. She was visibly moved, and gave me a warm hug. For some reason, I'm intensely touched by it. We chat a little. I tell her I'm having a bad evening and I want her to have a good evening. She tells me some stuff about her life. As she leaves, she gives me another hug. Oddly, as I drive out of the gas station, I recall what Ross Jeffries writes about leaving her better than you found her...

Two strangers bonding for a moment at the gas station in the middle of the night. How strange is that. I felt like for a brief moment, I had made a positive impact on someone's life. And it was a great feeling!

Update 10/18: Dad added a comment, and I just had to post it out here for everyone to see cos he really puts it very eloquently:

Life has its twists and turns, and just as you thought the world was crashing down on you, you realised that you, in your own moments of frustrations and helplessness, could actually turn out to be an inspiration and a beacon of light in the dark nights of some one else, and in so enlightening this other person, you have lifted her and yourself to a higher level of appreciation of the simple and good things that life has to offer, and it only costs you? $10!

Come to think of it, I was probably influenced by his earlier actions.

Edible art

Did I mention that mum bakes cakes that look better than I can draw...?

I can't vouch for their taste although Dad says they're MUCH better than the stuff you buy from the stores.

Today, she baked some of that decorative stuff you put on cakes. There's one with a couple of blue sparrows, one with chrysanthemums and violets and one with apple blossoms and roses. Me, I personally like the sparrows. I think they look like those little birds you'd see in a Snow White.

Appreciation

J wrote this really sweet post. How often do you look around you and notice the silent pillars that you build your life upon?

Stop. Look. Reflect. We see the future when we look at the past.

She also wrote this other little thing here. Just a random selection of two pieces of J's writing that I found inspirational.

Recharging the spirit

Dad emailed me this today, and I had to share it with everyone. It's one of those incredibly moving moments in life where you just get a sense that you're just a small tiny piece in the grand scheme of things, and that maybe you have a purpose far beyond what you can see.

This morning, went to Walmart to buy confectionery sugar for mum to practice her icing making. As I was waiting for the car in front of me to back off from the parking lot, another car driven by an elderly lady (like Ah Ma type), drove into the lot which I was waiting for. She probably did not notice that I was waiting, but then as she turned in she saw my car there. She wanted to back off for me, but I waved her on to indicate that I will look for another space.

I found another space about 30 meters away and went into Walmart to buy the sugar. After picking the sugar I thought we lacked some fruits and went over to the fruit section and proceeded to pick up some nectarines. Halfway I saw a lady struggling to tear the plastic bags off the rolls, so I just went to help her. It turned out to be the one who took my parking lot. She recognised me and apologised etc but I said its ok, and all the stuff.

Then as she was trying to pack some nectarines into her bag, she must have bungled by holding the wrong end of the plastic bag cos all her fruits scattered on the floor. Seeing her so "cham" (suffering), I helped her to pick up her fruits, and repack with fresh ones, tie up the plastic bags etc. l

She was very grateful, and just looked at me, very gently touched my left cheek with her right hand, and said "Bless You !". I felt so nice after that, and when I returned home, I told mum about it, and said - ok, I am not going to wait until nextt week to 'replay', but I am going now. Somehow this old lady seemed to recharged me greatly.

Tough guy Joe

If you're not familiar with Joe Arpaio, he's the Maricopa Arizona county sheriff, and he keeps getting elected over and over.

Here are some reasons why...

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail"...

He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights.

Cut off all but "G" movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked! up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel. When asked why the weather channel he replied , so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.

He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails. When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.

More on the Arizona Sheriff:
With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surround ed tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government- issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before. Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks.

"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be p unished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

A chess-tastic day

I achieved my best rating on the FICS (Free Internet Chess Server) server today - 1732, which works out to be about a FIDE rating of approx 1950, which is just shy of a Candidate Master ranking. Today must be a good day :)

Update 10/13/2005: Rating went up to a high of 1745, then dipped to 1741. Will I see 1800...?

Update 10/14/2005: Oh my... I'm up to 18013 Just three days ago, I was hovering around 1650. Then I was wondering if I'd break 1800. Now I'm there. Wow, I'm on a roll! A pity I blew my last 3 games and slid down to 1772...

Ah Ma - The Collector's Edition

So it's a little past the third anniversary of Ah Ma's departure (July 28th 2002). I figured that in true Hollywood style, I should release some kind of collector's edition. So here it is, a collection of all the online articles I could find that celebrated Ah Ma's life.

Warren - AH MA (1918 - 2002) A Photographic Journal

Warren's words, transcribed by me

Warren - Happy Birthday, Mum

Warren's book which chronicles Ah Ma's later years - Looking After Mother

Alwyn - I love you, Ah Ma (mirrored here)

Alwyn - simply titled Ah Ma

Derek - Last memories of Ah Ma

Derek - Blog archive for August 2002

Derek - Revisiting old woulds

Derek - The email threads

Updated on 17 Apr 2006:

Alwyn alludes to never being to dance again with Ah Ma

Updated on 8 May 2006:

Warren talks about Ah Ma's 5 Year Malaysian visa, and how she never got a chance to use it.

Ah Ma - Email Threads

First, we had the somewhat alarming emails...

From: "Alwyn Lau"
To: "Lau, Joanne" , "Derek Lau"
Subject: Re: a-ma
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 09:34:36 +0800

hi jo / derek,

how've u been, jo? haven't spoken to u for a while...:)

i saw a-ma again last night...not surprisingly, she greets me with a flurry of (unfortunately, incoherent) words...but thankfully she looks better than two nights back...

but yeah it may be good to come back, at least for a week or so...

derek, i passed her your fruits...she must've said something like, "aiyah, no need lar, tell him not to worry about me lar, etc."...;>)

Al

----- Original Message -----
From: Lau, Joanne
To: 'Alwyn Lau' ; Derek Lau
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 10:40 PM
Subject: RE: a-ma

Wow, a lot's happened in the last day that I didn't check my email. You know, D, when was the last time you saw her??
I'm thinking if we (you and me) shouldn't make one big trip back soon, so that just in case anything happens, she would at least have seen us again (and us, her)...what are your thoughts?

-----Original Message-----
From: Alwyn Lau [mailto:alwynlau@...]
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 1:36 AM
To: joannelau@...; Derek Lau
Subject: Re: a-ma

hi derek/jo,

i believe her slurs are a result of a vein/muscle 'snapping' in her head, which actually happened *before* the stroke yesterday, though i'm willing to bet they're related somehow...and ah ma CAN move her body inspite being bed-ridden

derek, sorry to scare ya, but i'm not aware of the *full details* meself...i only know what i saw and what i heard (which is just seeing her in the hospital and hearing that she suffered a 'mild stroke' yesterday morn)...there's also a plan to send her to a home for 24-hrs care if/when she recovers...

my 'feeling' about this: i really really don't know...my parents and yours appear rather calm/serene (go figure)...although my father did stay up very late last night (not normal)...as we all know, this is the 2nd time she's admitted for a stroke and this is happening in the midst of her present heart pills and leg problems (remember how she was when u saw her last year, derek? it's much worse now).

i'm just praying that she keeps feeling peaceful, glad and fulfilled over her past 8 decades...

Al

----- Original Message -----
From: Derek Lau
To: Alwyn Lau ; joannelau@...
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 4:20 PM
Subject: Re: a-ma

Jo,

FYI, Ah Ma was hospitalized with a stroke. As Alwyn said, she can't speak clearly. That's fairly normal in stroke patients because you have just lost control of your muscles. Anyway, according to Dad/Mum, Ah Ma will be under observation for the next 48 hours or so. Naturally, if a 2nd stroke hits again, then all bets are off, get ready to buy a ticket for the funeral etc. If a 2nd stroke doesn't hit, she should be on the road to recovery. Taking the best possible case, Dad/Mum think it will be in her best interest to be sent for physical therapy.

Al, I appreciate you sending the email to Jo and myself, but please please please, do provide more detail. You scared the living shit out of me, and I was half prepared to book the next flight back. And if you see her, please buy her some fruits and flowers. I know she won't eat them (yet, at least). Come to think of it, I'm not so sure about flowers since they can cause respiratory problems, and that may not be a good idea for a stroke patient. You know what, scratch the flowers. Just fruits will be fine.

Derek

PS: To be very frank, I'm quite sure that there's quite a lot of the story that nobody is telling me. Don't ask me why I think that way. Just... a strong hunch...

At 01:09 AM 07/16/02, Alwyn Lau wrote:
she was admitted to hosp. yesterday...stroke...can't speak coherently anymore, slurring...ur parents didn't tell you?

anyway, i'll be seeing her this evening...want me to say something on ur behalf?

Al

----- Original Message -----
From: Derek Lau
To: Alwyn Lau
Sent: Tuesday, July 16, 2002 4:03 PM
Subject: Re: a-ma

What about?

At 11:27 PM 07/15/02, you wrote:
hi...hv u both heard about ah ma?
Al

Then we had the REALLY SHITTY news...

From: "Alwyn Lau"
To: , "Derek Lau"
Cc: "Victor & Ping Lau"
Subject: Re: Ah Ma
Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 16:18:34 +0800
hi all,

any 'developments' these two days? am surprised the air-waves are kinda quiet...

btw, Uncle Vic, could u pls include this add into your mass-mail regarding ah ma?

thanks,
Al
----- Original Message -----
From: Derek Lau
To: Alwyn Lau ; joannelau@...
Cc: Victor & Ping Lau
Sent: Sunday, July 21, 2002 7:47 PM
Subject: Re: Ah Ma

I'm taking the next flight I can. That will probably be on Monday. I'll keep you guys informed by phone or email when I get my ticket etc. It's now 4.45am Sunday morning (or Sat late night).

Derek

At 03:52 AM 07/21/02, Alwyn Lau wrote:
hi derek/jo,

i saw ah ma again this afternoon, as did my aunt a few hours later...her eyes can no longer open...i very much doubt she can recognise me (she pulled her hand away from me, imagine that, when over the past few days she was stroking me non-stop! *teary smile*)...she can no longer speak...at first i thought she was just sleepy, but my aunt reported exactly the same condition 3 hrs later...

so she remains - even in 'waking' moments - in a perpetually eyes-shut condition..the personnel at the home said her blood pressure went up quite a bit...we all know wha that implies...

derek/jo, i kid you not: ah ma is not going to make it for long. i would be VERY surprised if she can hang on until mid-August. she is slipping away...if you wish to see her alive again, it may be good to get on that plane now.

i will be going to JKT tomorrow; so if she goes within the next few days, then today would be the last time i touch her whilst she's "here"...even though she doesn't know it was me, i guess i will always cherish that...

have a good week, derek, joanne...let me know your plans.


love,
Alwyn

3 years and then some

I just realized that I wrote this slightly more than a year ago. I realized that I didn't blog anything this year on her anniversary. Then when I wanted to send out news about Joanne's new blog to everyone, I suddenly realized that I can't really email Ah Ma cos Ah Ma never got into the whole internet/email scene. Well, that and she's with us.

And that made me think back to Alwyn telling me about the time he brought Ah Ma to Starbucks for her first (and only?) latte.

Love Hate Relationship with the Roundhouse

I love the roundhouse (aka turning) kick. It's fast. It doesn't telegraph much. I can throw it with my back leg or my front leg. I can throw it low to the body or high to the head almost equally easily. One good roundhouse kick to the head will stun or KO a person. And did I mention that it's a really fast kick? All said, it's great kick in my arsenal.

But the roundhouse kick also sucks. One good kick into the other guy's elbow really can really mess up your week. Case in point, I've got a big bruise on my right instep and it hurts like the devil when I walk or put pressure on my foot. Like it or not, the instep is a mighty fragile little thing, very prone to bruises, and extremely vocal when hurt.

I think I'm going to reduce my midsection roundhouse kicks and replace them with side kicks, front push kicks or my second favorite, the axe kick. I'll save my beloved roundhouse kicks for the other guy's face and give his elbows a miss...