Should I Stay or Should I Go: An Email to my Cousin

Hi Al,

How's the wedding preps going on? 6 weeks or so left of your bachelor hood man! :)

I was talking to my good friend who will be the MC of another friend's wedding. You know, the 2nd wedding I have to attend, one week after yours. So what's an MC supposed to do? Or rather, what do you want me to do? I can't just go up there and crack stupid jokes. And who's my co-MC? I hope she's someone single and absolutely gorgeous! Ha ha ha

You know, lately, I have been wondering what to do with my life. I've been in the US for 8 1/2 years now, and I am very comfortable living here. I have a life here, friends, career etc. But I'm lacking in the family department. In particular, mum + dad. To make a really long story short, I want to be around them while they are still alive and well. I don't want to make the same mistake I made with Ah Ma. I think I wasn't around her enough while she was well. I did too little too late for her.

So on one hand, you have my (selfish) desires to stay here with my friends and my job and stuff. Like I said, I have a great life here. Lots of freedom, financially very secure etc.

On the other hand, I want to be with my parents while they're still able to spend time with me.

I think there's no easy solution to this. In the end it's up to what I want to give up. I can't be in the US and have my parents around. And I can't be in Singapore/Malaysia and enjoy the same level of comfort as I have in the US.

Sigh... Decisions decisions decisions... Well, just thought I'd tell you what I've been thinking of the whole evening. Heh heh... I think you already have enough stuff on your mind without having to worry about what I'm thinking. :)

Well, see you in a few weeks. Say hi the wife-to-be for me!


Derek

She forgot...

She forgot that I had invited her to my company party. Now she has something else planned. Just great. Fucking great.

How do I feel?

I feel sad and hurt that she forgot. It shows what part of her life I occupy. Or don't occupy as the case may be. I don't think I am angry. Well, maybe a little pissed off because I'd be pissed off if any friend of mine had forgotten we had some prior engagement.

I don't know how to react. Part of me is hurt, part of me is pissed. I don't want to do or say anything I will later regret, so I think I will just shut up. At the same time, I want to let my feelings out. So I guess this journal entry will be about as good as it gets.


I cannot believe she forgot. I was so looking forward to it, and now SHE FUCKING FORGOT. Why did she have to forget? I guess the more you hope for something, the harder it is to face disappointment. You would think that I, for one, would know better than to hope for too much. I guess I just haven't learned my lesson.


Well, what a crappy way to start the day huh?

Cheesecake

Ally baked a cheesecake for me. I think that's so incredibly sweet! Thank you so much Ally!

Hmm... The crust is really good. Nice and "solid". Not too crispy, but still has that slightly oven-burnt taste which I like. The cake itself is a little too moist I think. I prefer my cheesecake more dry and creamy and rich. But that's probably why I'll die sooner than the rest of you. Overall, this is a good cake! And I am one satisfied customer!