I've never met Steve Oakford, but I do know that he had a profound impact on my friend Carrie's life.
Carrie called Dennis on Saturday early afternoon. She was crying down the phone cos her friend Steve had just passed away. Dennis talked to her for a bit, then told me we were meeting Carrie for drinks this evening. I suggested picking her up since I didn't want her driving around in her condition, but she said that she would cab it and meet us at the Americano at 6.30pm.
When we met up, Carrie was wearing a somber black outfit, but was otherwise smiling. I walked up, gave her a hug and said "I'm so sorry Carrie". She hugged me back really tightly, smiled, and said "No, today isn't a sorry day. Today we're celebrating his life. We're going to drink until we're drunk. That's what Steve would have wanted."
And we did. We drank. Carrie told us stories about Steve. She told us a story about them going to the prom with different dates and ending up making out in the back of the limo. And another story about how he supposedly had the biggest dick of any guy outside the porn industry in LA. I was quite sloshed, so I can't remember a whole lot more unfortunately... But we celebrated his life. Cos, like Carrie said, that's what Steve would have wanted.
So here's one more toast from me to Steve, a guy I never met. Rest in peace brother.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Falling for this one
Ever since I split up with Joyce, I've been on a dating rampage. But I don't think I've ever really blogged about any one particular girl. But that's going to change. Now.
My roomie (Dennis) and I decided to treat ourselves to a nice dinner at this fancy restaurant (Boulevard) in honor of a great workshop we held in Seattle the previous weekend. We made reservations (one hour wait dammit!) and then walked over to a nearby hotel to get a drink while we waited.
I was feeling very chill, just relaxing. Just sitting there, chatting with Dennis, feeling all worn out from the last weekend of coaching. At that point, all I wanted was a great dinner and a chance to get a good night's sleep.
There was a table next to us with 2 gorgeous girls and 1 guy. They looked like MAC girls (cosmetics, not computers for all you dorks out there!) out after work hanging out with their gay best friend. I commented to Dennis that they didn't look like fun, they looked like they were going to fall asleep with their faces in their drinks.
There was another table next to us. 5 or 6 corporate-type guys and 1 girl. They looked like they were having a blast laughing at some kind of shared joke at the expense of some other guy. I couldn't resist, I just had to find out... "Hey guys, what's so funny? Share the joke!"
We start making fun of random people at the bar, all in the name of good fun. I wasn't even trying to hit on the girl or anything, I was just being social and having fun with the whole group. I'm chatting with the group when the dinner reservation pager starts buzzing. I excuse myself, offer the guys my untouched order of spicey fries, and start walking towards the restaurant with Dennis.
Halfway across the road, I just stop. In the middle of the road. I turn to Dennis. "Dude, you go ahead. I need to talk to that girl." He asks, why? I told him, "I don't know. There's just something about her. I felt something". And then I turn back and walk towards the group.
I walk up to the girl. She looks up at me.
"Hey..."
She looks at me quizzically and a little expectantly.
"I couldn't walk away without getting to know you more."
I turn to the guys. "Hey guys, I'm going to borrow her for a minute ok?" They're all ok with it. One of them even shouts out to her, "Just give him your number already!". If you had any reservations about why you should always be cool with everyone, that's a lesson right there. :)
So I turn to her, and it's like we're in our own little bubble. It's still a very social situation and I can't monopolize her and I hardly have time to really get to know her. But in my gut, I know it's on. I can't explain it. The vibe was just... right. It felt right. I get her number, talk to the group a little longer, then head back to find Dennis.
Next day, I send her an email.
" Did you enjoy the rest of my spicey fries or did your chained-and-whipped-too-often male secretary fail to share?
Anyways, it was a pleasure meeting you. I wish I had a little more time to chat with you, but such is the nature of dinner reservations. If I had a little more time with you, I could perhaps sell you on a nice aromatic cup of coffee one evening after work. You'd be wearing your best professional don't-mess-with-me power suit, but inside you'd be yearning to drop the facade and just kick back, chill out and let your inner child out. We'd talk and discover how we shared commonalities we didn't even know existed, and what an expectedly cool surprise it was that we met over a bowl of half uneaten french fries at a happy hour.
How does Monday next week sound to you?"
She replies a day later and we set up a date. I'll meet her at her office (she's working late) and we'll head out for dinner from there.
We meet up. And we end up talking and talking and talking for the whole night. It's amazing. We're just connecting. Due to crappy seating arrangement, I'm not even seated next to her. Heck, I'm doing almost everything "wrong". But I'm doing one thing right - I am really connecting. And that, my friends, is what it's really all about.
I tell her about my family, about my grandmother who passed away, about my sister in France. She tells me about her ex, about her dog, her parents, her brother. We talk about art. We talk about relationships. We talk about all kinds of stuff that people never talk about. Deep stuff. Stuff that I almost never talk about on a first date because it is way too personal. Stuff that even some of my friends don't know. Deep. Personal.
Before we know it, it's late. She has to wake up early the next morning to attend a court case. I drive her home. I stop the car. She unbuckles the seat belt, turns to me, and we just continue talking. At last, she really really has to go. We hug. We hug for a long time. And she walks up the stairs.
I think the biggest lesson was learning to let go of everything and just being present in the moment that I'm sharing with her. Don't worry about what to say, what to do, and just focus on what is right there before you. Honestly, this has been one of the best dates I've been on in a long long time because it felt incredibly real. I know that there is something between us, and I know that she knows.
Fast forward two weeks to my housewarming party...
I invited to her the housewarming party that Dennis and I were holding at the Poowah Palace aka our pad. OMG, I think I'm falling for this one hard. Ouch. In the best possible way... :)
She got to the party late (had prior family commitments). I gave her the grand tour, intro her to my friends (fact: cool friends are an absolute necessity!) and let her just mingle for a bit. I alternate between playing host to my friends and spending a little time with her. I bring her to my room to check out my DVD collection, but I keep the door open because it's just plain indiscreet to close the door with 30 people in the living room. We sit and talk.
Time flies. She needs to get home, so I walk her out to her car, which is less than a block away. We stop outside the car. We talk a little more, then I just pull her in gently for a kiss. OMG... I can feel my knees start to buckle... Thank goodness I'm leaning against her car! We talk a little more, I tell her to text me when she gets home, then she goes into her car. I start to walk back across the road to my place. She drives up, rolls down the window and shouts "Hey, you want a ride back?".
Can you say INTERESTED? So of course I say yes. Get in the car, talk a little more, one more kiss. Then I get out of the car and stagger back to the party with a bigass grin on my face. Later, she texts me that she's home. I text back, we exchange a few texts, then I call her and we arrange day5.
Did I mention that I think I'm falling for this one?
My roomie (Dennis) and I decided to treat ourselves to a nice dinner at this fancy restaurant (Boulevard) in honor of a great workshop we held in Seattle the previous weekend. We made reservations (one hour wait dammit!) and then walked over to a nearby hotel to get a drink while we waited.
I was feeling very chill, just relaxing. Just sitting there, chatting with Dennis, feeling all worn out from the last weekend of coaching. At that point, all I wanted was a great dinner and a chance to get a good night's sleep.
There was a table next to us with 2 gorgeous girls and 1 guy. They looked like MAC girls (cosmetics, not computers for all you dorks out there!) out after work hanging out with their gay best friend. I commented to Dennis that they didn't look like fun, they looked like they were going to fall asleep with their faces in their drinks.
There was another table next to us. 5 or 6 corporate-type guys and 1 girl. They looked like they were having a blast laughing at some kind of shared joke at the expense of some other guy. I couldn't resist, I just had to find out... "Hey guys, what's so funny? Share the joke!"
We start making fun of random people at the bar, all in the name of good fun. I wasn't even trying to hit on the girl or anything, I was just being social and having fun with the whole group. I'm chatting with the group when the dinner reservation pager starts buzzing. I excuse myself, offer the guys my untouched order of spicey fries, and start walking towards the restaurant with Dennis.
Halfway across the road, I just stop. In the middle of the road. I turn to Dennis. "Dude, you go ahead. I need to talk to that girl." He asks, why? I told him, "I don't know. There's just something about her. I felt something". And then I turn back and walk towards the group.
I walk up to the girl. She looks up at me.
"Hey..."
She looks at me quizzically and a little expectantly.
"I couldn't walk away without getting to know you more."
I turn to the guys. "Hey guys, I'm going to borrow her for a minute ok?" They're all ok with it. One of them even shouts out to her, "Just give him your number already!". If you had any reservations about why you should always be cool with everyone, that's a lesson right there. :)
So I turn to her, and it's like we're in our own little bubble. It's still a very social situation and I can't monopolize her and I hardly have time to really get to know her. But in my gut, I know it's on. I can't explain it. The vibe was just... right. It felt right. I get her number, talk to the group a little longer, then head back to find Dennis.
Next day, I send her an email.
" Did you enjoy the rest of my spicey fries or did your chained-and-whipped-too-often male secretary fail to share?
Anyways, it was a pleasure meeting you. I wish I had a little more time to chat with you, but such is the nature of dinner reservations. If I had a little more time with you, I could perhaps sell you on a nice aromatic cup of coffee one evening after work. You'd be wearing your best professional don't-mess-with-me power suit, but inside you'd be yearning to drop the facade and just kick back, chill out and let your inner child out. We'd talk and discover how we shared commonalities we didn't even know existed, and what an expectedly cool surprise it was that we met over a bowl of half uneaten french fries at a happy hour.
How does Monday next week sound to you?"
She replies a day later and we set up a date. I'll meet her at her office (she's working late) and we'll head out for dinner from there.
We meet up. And we end up talking and talking and talking for the whole night. It's amazing. We're just connecting. Due to crappy seating arrangement, I'm not even seated next to her. Heck, I'm doing almost everything "wrong". But I'm doing one thing right - I am really connecting. And that, my friends, is what it's really all about.
I tell her about my family, about my grandmother who passed away, about my sister in France. She tells me about her ex, about her dog, her parents, her brother. We talk about art. We talk about relationships. We talk about all kinds of stuff that people never talk about. Deep stuff. Stuff that I almost never talk about on a first date because it is way too personal. Stuff that even some of my friends don't know. Deep. Personal.
Before we know it, it's late. She has to wake up early the next morning to attend a court case. I drive her home. I stop the car. She unbuckles the seat belt, turns to me, and we just continue talking. At last, she really really has to go. We hug. We hug for a long time. And she walks up the stairs.
I think the biggest lesson was learning to let go of everything and just being present in the moment that I'm sharing with her. Don't worry about what to say, what to do, and just focus on what is right there before you. Honestly, this has been one of the best dates I've been on in a long long time because it felt incredibly real. I know that there is something between us, and I know that she knows.
Fast forward two weeks to my housewarming party...
I invited to her the housewarming party that Dennis and I were holding at the Poowah Palace aka our pad. OMG, I think I'm falling for this one hard. Ouch. In the best possible way... :)
She got to the party late (had prior family commitments). I gave her the grand tour, intro her to my friends (fact: cool friends are an absolute necessity!) and let her just mingle for a bit. I alternate between playing host to my friends and spending a little time with her. I bring her to my room to check out my DVD collection, but I keep the door open because it's just plain indiscreet to close the door with 30 people in the living room. We sit and talk.
Time flies. She needs to get home, so I walk her out to her car, which is less than a block away. We stop outside the car. We talk a little more, then I just pull her in gently for a kiss. OMG... I can feel my knees start to buckle... Thank goodness I'm leaning against her car! We talk a little more, I tell her to text me when she gets home, then she goes into her car. I start to walk back across the road to my place. She drives up, rolls down the window and shouts "Hey, you want a ride back?".
Can you say INTERESTED? So of course I say yes. Get in the car, talk a little more, one more kiss. Then I get out of the car and stagger back to the party with a bigass grin on my face. Later, she texts me that she's home. I text back, we exchange a few texts, then I call her and we arrange day5.
Did I mention that I think I'm falling for this one?
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