The Imperfect Rose

This rose symbolizes how I feel about you, how I feel about us.
The long stem represents the friendship we have. We've been friends for a pretty long time. We know each other well. That's one of the best things I like about you. At the same time, apparently, this is one of the things that prevents us from going anywhere. I know you don't feel anything for me, possibly because we already know each other so well. At the same time, I feel that the best relationships start from friendship.
The thorns represent my imperfection. I'm far from perfect. I have my flaws. At the same time, it's these very flaws that make me the person I am. Cut away the thorns, and while you may have a perfect rose, it is not a complete rose. Because there are thorns, you'll have to handle this rose with care if you choose to do anything with it. And admittedly, sometimes the thorns will prick you.
The rose bud represents the two choices that lie before you. You can choose to let the rose bloom, and explore the possibilities. Or you can hang the rose out to dry.
If you hang it out to dry, the rose will always be with you. But it will be brittle shadow of it's true self. You'll look at the rose and maybe you will wonder what it would have looked like if it had fully bloomed. And yet, maybe this is the safer choice. You'll always have the rose that could have been.
If you let the rose bloom, you won't be able to dry it out nicely. It will bloom in all its beauty, and eventually the petals will turn dark and fall. I don't promise it will last forever. I can't. The most I can promise is that if you choose to let it bloom, I will be with you helping the rose bloom.
I tell you this as a matter of fact. I do not seek sympathy, nor do I ask you for more than you're willing to give. I like you very much, both as a friend and a potential lover, and that means I want what's best for you. I think we can be happy together, but if you decide that you will be happiest with someone else, I will fully support that decision as your friend.
I give you the rose, but what you do with the rose is up to you.

Friendship: A Blessing and A Curse

So if you've been reading my diary so far, you'll know that I like a girl whoe also happens to be one of my very good friends. Oh wait, you mean that part isn't in my diary? Anyway, now you know, so stop interrupting me...

As I was saying, I like her.

It's turning out to be both a blessing and a curse that she's a good friend. On one hand, I enjoy certain privilieges of being a good friend. For example, after she turned me down (I do hate the word "rejected"), she asked how I felt and she was concerned about me. See, that's something that most guys don't have the luxury of experiencing because most guys will fall for for some random chick they just met. And of course that random chick doesn't even bother to give them the time of the day, let alone care about how they feel.

On the other hand, this friendhip-attraction bipolarity is creating some very interesting internal conflict within me. And I use the term "interesting" in the most sarcastic context.

When she goes out with another guy, the friend in me is genuinely interested to know how the date went. I wish she would find someone who makes her happy, and start a life with him. And yet, the potential suitor in me feels envious, and I wish that I were that guy. Naturally, I feel even worse if she had a good date. And at the same time, I feel happy for her.

I don't know what to do. This is killing me.