Florida - Round 2

I was in Florida about a year ago for the same reason. I am attending the Rational Software Dev Conference at Disneyworld.

Last year rocked (check out the evidence!), so I'm very optimistic about what this year brings. Watch this space for updates and photos and all that good stuff!

What Do You Do?

This is approximately my response to the question that people always ask when they meet someone new - "so... what do you do?"

Right now, I'm working three jobs. Job number one, I do for money. After all, someone has to pay the bills, unless you're offering...? No? Didn't think so. Hence job number one. It pays well, I am very good at what I do, and it leaves me with a lot of time to do what I really want to do. Job number two, I do because this is something my father got me involved in when I was eight, and I've been doing this on and off for twenty something years. It's funny how much my dad and I are alike even though I would absolutely deny it if you asked me that when I was 18. And job number three, I do because I see it as my place in this world, and it is how I give back to the world that has given me so much.

At this point, I have given a lot of vague details about what I do. I have also opened many potential conversational threads - working for life vs living for work, what am I good at, vague threads about fathers or growing up to be like your parents, and giving back to the world.

I have also insinuated several ideas about the type of person I am
- I work for money, not for passion. But I indulge in my passions.
- I realize the impact my parents have had in my life
- I actively give something back to other people

I work as a software architect for ebay. My main job is to make sure that the new stuff on the web site doesn't screw around with the old stuff. You know that "buy it now" thing on ebay? So before "buy it now", you had to bid on stuff, wait around forever, and maybe you'll win the auction and maybe not. So when ebay introduces a new gadget like "buy it now", I have to make sure that the new code plays nice with the old code. Kinda like making sure that when you buy a new sofa, it matches the existing carpet and walls. It sounds kinda easy, but when you realize that each page on ebay is run on about 1000 computers, well... the sheer size of it can be crazy. But like I said, it's just a job, it pays me well, I am good enough at what I do that I can do my job half drunk, which leaves me lots of time to do the really cool stuff in life. Like... Like LIVING LIFE.

Make my geeky job more "accessible" to non-geeks by minimizing geek-speak, and putting things in perspective so that non-geeks can identify with it (eg the sofa, or using the "buy it now" analogy). People are much more likely to be interested in something when they can personally relate to it with something in their life.

Even though it sounds like a good job, I downplay its importance in my life, and instead say that it leaves me time to live life. This is an important part of my intro. By saying I have a cool job and that I am good at that job, I am, in effect, boasting. However, by deflecting the significance of my job, I am able to sidestep the "boasting" problem. For example, see the difference between "I drive a Ferrari" vs "I drive a Ferrari, but what I really like is taking my rollerblades out for a drive".

My second job is... well, actually I stopped doing it since I moved into SF. I used to be competitive in martial arts, but after I stopped competing, I helped teach tae kwondo to kids. My dad was actually the one who introduced me to martial arts when I was 8 years old. I remember I had to wake up at 8 o'clock for karate practice on Sunday mornings. Seriously, who the heck wants to wake up so damn early on a Sunday??? I was never a morning person, I'm still not a morning person, and I doubt I ever will be. My dad realized that, so he sweetened the deal by buying me breakfast after karate practice. Now THAT was the highlight of my Sunday. We'd go to the cafe, and I would usually order the same thing - mushroom omelette and a glass of orange juice. Except that one time when I decided to try grapefruit juice. I thought grapefruit was you know, grape. Ugh. Bad idea. Funny how things work out. Years later, I still love omelette, and I still love fresh orange juice.

Once again, I could be boasting about competing at martial arts, but I sidestep it by saying I teach kids. And I further sidestep by relating martial arts to my father. I deliberately leave the martial arts thread open because martial arts isn't usually a very interesting topic but those who are interested will ask more about it. In contrast, talking about your relationship with your parents in a positive light usually throws a positive spin on the convo. Think about it. When was the last time you heard someone, let alone a stranger, talk about their parents in a good way?

My third job is something I just started doing lately. A few years ago, I broke up with my exgirlfriend. Now, I am from Singapore, so when I came here for college, most of my friends were international students. Over the years, most of them either got married or left the country for home. So while everyone else's social circle was expanding, mine was actually contracting! So after we broke up, I realized I had very few friends, I had no idea how to meet new people, and I had to figure out how to make new friends on my own. A few years down the road along this journey, and I've learned so much. I learned body language, techniques on how to touch people, how people play power games with each other all the time, how to conduct truly open communication and so much more. I've seen so many crazy things. In fact, I even used my newly found skills to help my parents through a marital crisis. And you know what? It made me realize that I want to share this with all those other guys out there who need help. This may not be on quite the same level as curing cancer, but this is my way of making the world a better place. One man at a time. So now I have a company that I founded with my roommate and business partner Dennis. We've been operating for about 2 years, fully profitable if I may add, and we live by the maxim that this is about helping men and not about money. And it's been a rocking and rolling 2 years.

This part of my intro hooks people emotionally. Almost everyone can relate to breaking up and feeling alone. I also boast a little more about starting my own company and we are profitable but deflect it by stressing that it is about helping men and not just making money.

Actually, I really trimmed down most of my intro just cos I didn't want to type out everything. There are many places in my intro where I introduce even more sub-topics and leave a lot more threads open.

Regarding "boasting"... I don't intend to boast, but I do realize how some of the things I say could come across as me "showing off", that is why I take the pains to deflect the points that I feel could come across as boastful.

In conclusion, the main points to take away are
- boast about something, then deflect it
- leave plenty open conversational threads
- talk about things in a positive light
- talk about things in ways that people can relate to

And no, I do not memorize this speech. Duh. But I do know roughly what are the key points I need to hit. The best speeches are (usually) those that are well prepared beforehand!

Moving (again)

My present (free) web host is kinda flakey. It is getting super irritating hitting my blog just to get a "server not found" piece of crap error. As such, I'm moving to my friend's server. New address is here:

http://blog.ultimateawesomeness.com

Update your links and stuff people! This will go live sometime soon... eventually. :)