Attraction is not a choice

It's funny how our hearts operate on a totally separate plane of reality from our brains. Our brains create these laundry lists of some ideal gal (or guy) we'd like, then our heart just jumps in and decides to fall for someone else.

I've been reading quite a bit about human psychology recently, and it seems that the reason our heart and mind aren't always quite in sync can be traced back (in part) to our roots as animals.

For Men, our genetic prerogative is to sow seed and procreate. As such, we look for "healthy" specimens to procreate with, and hence a genetic disposition towards being attracted to pretty girls. Men have always been the providers (eg hunters of food) and as such tend to look for "weaker" women who must be protected.

Women, on the other hand, have always been the nurturer. As such, women are genetically predisposed towards being attracted to men who, in one way or another, have presented themselves as being able to provide for the woman. An interesting point here is the presence of what is known as the Halo effect (Robert Cialdini, 1984). In short, the halo effects says that if you are good at one thing (eg good looking), people assume that you are good in other related areas as well (eg good personality, nice person etc). Face it, would you rather give a ride to a guy in a suit, or a guy who looks like he hasn't showered since the Reagan administration?

Anyway, my point is, there's thousands of years of evolution stacked up behind us which influence the way we feel. This is stuff that totally circumvents our brain, our logic, our conscious thought processes.

Inspiration for today's post comes from Obstacles to Love

Update 03/14/2005:

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
William Shakespeare: A Midsummer Nights Dream.