So if you've been reading my diary so far, you'll know that I like a girl whoe also happens to be one of my very good friends. Oh wait, you mean that part isn't in my diary? Anyway, now you know, so stop interrupting me...
As I was saying, I like her.
It's turning out to be both a blessing and a curse that she's a good friend. On one hand, I enjoy certain privilieges of being a good friend. For example, after she turned me down (I do hate the word "rejected"), she asked how I felt and she was concerned about me. See, that's something that most guys don't have the luxury of experiencing because most guys will fall for for some random chick they just met. And of course that random chick doesn't even bother to give them the time of the day, let alone care about how they feel.
On the other hand, this friendhip-attraction bipolarity is creating some very interesting internal conflict within me. And I use the term "interesting" in the most sarcastic context.
When she goes out with another guy, the friend in me is genuinely interested to know how the date went. I wish she would find someone who makes her happy, and start a life with him. And yet, the potential suitor in me feels envious, and I wish that I were that guy. Naturally, I feel even worse if she had a good date. And at the same time, I feel happy for her.
I don't know what to do. This is killing me.
1 comment:
im going trogh the exact thing my friend landon goes with a girl named daniel and i realy love her but she knows this but she never sais anything about it (her friend told her because my friend let it slip to her..)
and every day i go into school and there they are hugin'
and then i think about killen landon but then i think
why am i mad at him then i just say to my self he is the luckyest guy ever i love her so much as soon as they break up im gonna be there to comfort her...
-zj
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