More ramblings and self doubt

Why is it so hard to find someone in the great big world?

It seems like you can find someone whom you like, or you can find someone who likes you, but they're never quite the same person. What's up with that? Is it so hard to find someone where the attraction is mutual?

Or is that the problem? Attraction. Do we rely too much initial attraction to determine the other person's fit to be a soul mate. Why is it hard for a friend to date another friend? I would love that my soul mate be someone who knows me for who I am, a friend. Why is that too much to ask for? Why do people say "Oh, we've been friends for too long, it won't work out".

Shouldn't it be the other way around? Oh, we barely know each other, it won't work out. Now that sounds more logical, doesn't it? Or is that the problem? Logic. Fact and reason has no place in an arena dominated by emotions and feelings.

Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe I should live for the moment, go with the flow and see what happens. But I can't help thinking that if I don't control where I float to, maybe I'll end up nowhere. Or maybe it's because I'm trying to control my life that my life is going nowhere. Or is it only that my life SEEMS to be going nowhere? Am I missing the bigger picture here?

I should be getting my green card in a few months. With a little luck, that green card would make a wonderful Christmas or Valentine's day. Well, that will be really nice because I'll probably be spending another lonesome X'mas...

Yes, I am all that optimistic.