It's been a year since Juli and I broke up.
Over the last year, I think my heart has healed quite a bit. It
doesn't hurt (as much) when I think about her. I don't cry at the
thought of what could have been.
But the pain still lingers like an old war wound that just won't go
away. The scars are still there. The scars still itch a little every
now and then. It's probably one of those things that you never quite
outgrow.
I suppose that's part of growing up and moving on.
I talked to Juli last night for more than 2 hours. It was like a
glass of fine wine. It's smooth and comfortable. Sweet. But also a
sharp bitter acidic taste.
It was painful at first, but as the conversation grew longer, I
started feeling more comfortable. It felt like I was talking to an
old friend. The chummy feeling that your friend knows you inside out,
a friend who knows all your bad points, so there's really nothing to
hide. There's no posing and posturing. You're just you, stripped bare
of all niceness.
A couple of parts in the conversation were very painful for me. The
part where I told her I already bought the ring for her. The part
where I told her that I should have been less demanding of her.
Whatever... That's past. That part of my life is over. The girl I
loved no longer exists. She's no longer the person she was one year
ago. Heck, neither am I.
Time to bury the past and embrace the future.
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